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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Virginia

Well I'm still here....and I will say this last week has been hell.  I don't think I have ever posted a post like that last one, but since I did, I'm going to tell you about our week. 

I left you at (last)Wednesday morning, when I was heading to the "rehab facility" with a mashed banana and a good cup of coffee.  When I got to their door, I was getting ready to push the button to enter the building, and my cell phone rang.  I stopped, answered the phone, and it was them.  My MIL was "unresponsive" and they "think she had a stroke".  I told them I was right outside, and when I went in I heard someone say, "I just got off the phone with Cindy and she is already here." 

I went into her room and stood there.....helpless.....while people came in from who knows where.  If only they would have done that during the week...when I kept asking them to.  Because now, and at that time, it was too late.

I called her son, My Shug, and got him up.   The EMT's came in the room and they took her to the hospital (across the parking lot).  I walked there.  My Shug came in.  We were there for hours.  She had a massive stroke and was not a candidate for the "three hour drug" to try to reverse the effects of the stroke.  She could not speak, she could not swallow, she could not move anything but one arm and could only open one eye. 

Later that day My Shug went to her "rehab facility" cleaned out her room, told them they had a "lieing sack of shit for a nurse" and she would never be back. Half an hour later, the Dr. was in her hospital room.   He apologized to us that his facility let us down and asked if I was the one that called his office yesterday.   He told us this was the worst way to go to the Lord.  He was not wrong.

We had some very tough decisions to make. 

We stayed with her most of that day and the next two days off and on.  We had no idea how many days she would be able to last this way, but by Friday My Shug had to go back to work. And we had some stuff that had to be done.

We thought we had done all of the crying there was to do, but on Sunday I had a complete and total meltdown.  I was hurting on my back left side and didn't know if it was pleurisy, heart, or stress.  I took an ibuprofen, crying my eyes out, and called in the troops. 
And the troops came....

We had to insulate the stair well and prepare it for the drywall guys.
We had to clear out our house for the drywall guys.
Remove all the screens in the windows so they won't get clogged up with drywall/sanding dust.
Remove and plug all register vents.
I had fireplace installers scheduled for Wednesday (tomorrow) and drywallers scheduled for next Monday, June 1.
*And yes I could have rescheduled everything above but then it wouldn't get done until mid July because of our schedule and who knows about their schedule.  We have a wedding coming up in a couple of weeks in St. Thomas, planned since October.  It was almost easier to go on with the already scheduled plans that to make more phone calls and try to re-plan.*
And now, we had a funeral imminent.....which we started planning and meeting with people.
a MIL struggling to breathe....us spending countless hours at the hospital.  Three middle of the night phone calls from the hospital.  
Not sleeping enough...
AND We found out we had to have her Assisted Living room cleaned out by June 1, or pay $3045.00...another month's rent.
 AND....
on Friday we were told  she would need moved "somewhere."  I was on my way home when I got a call that the Dr. and social services were there to talk to us.   I was actually almost  home when I turned the car around and went back to the hospital.

She could not stay in the hospital because it is used to help people get well, and she will not be getting well.  My Shug was refusing to put her in another facility, and we are living in one room in a basement.  She could not go back to her assisted living facility unless someone moved in with her full-time.  That left our room in the basement.  And hospice coming in to help. 
BUT...somehow she qualified for hospice help AT THE HOSPITAL for five more days.  Thank you Lord.

So, back to Sunday...
Sunday morning came around and I could not stop crying.  I can't remember the last time I was this stressed.  Vickie, my cousin, and her husband Robert came over Sunday and Monday and we got EVERYTHING done!  I mean EVERYTHING!  My Sister and her husband were going to come on Monday but we felt like we could get everything done without the extra help.   And Mom and Dad cooked our meals for those two days.  Thank God for family and friends huh? 

On Sunday evening I went to see my MIL.  While I was standing there she reached up, grabbed my hand, and opened both eyes and stared right at me!  I thought there might be a possibility of recovery.  I even told her that in the movie the Notebook, James Garner says, "science only goes so far, and then there is God."  She could only open one eye and move one arm since the stroke.  So I texted my Shug and he came back to the hospital.  But sadly, I think that was her "last hurrah."  On Monday,  he came home and said he does not want me going back to the hospital.  Things were really bad.

Last night at 1:15 we got a call.  My MIL passed away.  It is for the best. She was struggling just to breathe and would not have wanted to live that way.  She is at peace now. 


Cindy Bee

8 comments:

  1. Wrapping my arms around you Cindy; I am so sorry all of you have had to go through this. There simply are not words. Hoping for your strength and healing.

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  2. Oh Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss and for the terrible time that led up to it. I hope you find some peace over the coming days and weeks, sending you strength and lots of love xx

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  3. So sorry Cindy, what an awful week. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.

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  4. Oh Cindy, my heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

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  5. Cindy, my sincere condolences. Sounds like you've had a terrible time. Hugs.

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  6. Cindy, I am sorry for the passing of your MIL...but as you said, it is best. She's pain free and with God. Hug your shug for me. I know it's been a hard time for all of you. I hope what you told the dr. sunk in...just because people are old or can't do doesn't mean they should not be treated nice. Ted's brother will be going to hospice...not sure where...He's wife said she did not want him to come home to die there...she had to live there ..can you even begin to believe that? Bless your sweet heart Cindy. xoxo,Susie

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  7. Oh, dear girl. My heart aches for you and your Shug. Nobody, but nobody, should go through that. I'm so sorry your MIL didn't receive the care she deserved. Hugs and prayers for all of you.

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  8. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and all the family, Cindy. Hugs, Nellie

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Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to leave a comment on my blog. I enjoy reading them. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Cindy Bee